Way back in November 2006 I posted about a young man named Bryan James Hathaway of Douglas County, Minnesota who was arrested for having sex with a deer carcass he found on the side of the road while bicycling. He was charged with violating a law against "sexual gratification with an animal."
His clever lawyer tried to argue that a dead deer is not technically an "animal" and that the law Hathaway was charged with violating was intended to protect living animals, so he could not have violated it.
The even more clever judge disagreed, somewhat dubiously holding that the no-sex-with-animals law was "essentially the legislature's effort to codify what is legally unacceptable in society with respect to human behavior," and not a law intended to protect living animals from harm.
Today the good Lord has brought us the strangely similar story of one Ronald E. Kuch, from Bay County, Michigan:
Bay County Circuit Judge Joseph K. Sheeran ruled Friday that even though Michigan law does not explicitly define sex with a dead dog as a crime, charges against a Saginaw man will stand.Sheeran set a trial date of May 8 for the trial, when Ronald E. Kuch, 45, of Saginaw will face charges of sodomy, indecent exposure and resisting and obstructing an Animal Control officer. If convicted of either of the first two charges, Kuch will then have a hearing on May 30, at which Sheeran will determine whether Kuch is a ''sexually delinquent person.'' If so, the judge could sentence Kuch to prison for any amount of time, from one day to a year, on top of the sentence from the initial charges, which carry up to 15 years in prison.
Kuch's defense attorney, Kathryn Fehrman, argued that Michigan's statute on sodomy and bestiality is vague and does not outlaw sex with a dead dog. Kuch is accused of sexual contact with the carcass of his girlfriend's dog on Oct. 20, about a week after the animal had been hit by a car. The alleged crime occurred near the Forest Day Care Center, 2169 W. Midland Road, on a school day. The teacher was leading an Animal Control officer to the dead dog so he could dispose of it when the pair discovered Kuch, who allegedly scuffled with the officer before fleeing into the woods.
Note that Mr. Kuch was doing this "about a week after the animal had been hit by a car . . . ." That means one of two things: Either 1) the dead dog was frozen solid; or 2) it stank like hell. Either way, it couldn't have been that much fun. Note also that it was "his girlfriend's dog . . . ." She must be very, very proud.
Details here from The Bay City Times. (via The Obscure Store)